Studyin' 'Bout Lint Places, Types and Quality, at the Flat Rock General Store....
It’s Monday comin’ on near two in the afternoon down at The Flat Rock General Store. I howdied at Slim over b’hind the counter settin’ in his old recliner. Here I navigated myself back to those gathered round the old potbellied heater settin’ area and found a Pepsi cola case ’longside Ms. Ida. There is a heavy congestion of folk so assembled. All The Store regulars are so gathered - includin’ Slim, Essex, Ms. Ida, the widow Cora, Farlow, Willerdean, "Truth," Bro., S.R., J.R., "Hatch," Dustin and the music man himself, Mr. Harley Hood. Course, community and area folk are comin’ and goin’ as warmer weather has approached.
The topical discussions are large and wide in variance. Gardenin’, whole milk, Easter church visitors, medical marijuana, Hatton baseball, school lettin’ out, soil samplin’, storm shelters, cattle prices, the economical state of folk in general, jobs, Bro’s Sunday preachin’ and them folk who needed it.
The widow Cora had the floor and was tellin’ those so assembled ‘bout the tallness of her Irish tater plants, also offerin’ she suspected they would need lots of heavy dirt throwed to ‘em pretty soon. Just now Slim rose up from his old recliner, leaned on the counter and proclaimed to the gathered group that folk ‘bout Mt Hope was sayin’ the Sibleys, Reba and Jerry, was dislodgin’ from here bouts and movin’ to Auburn permanent like. Seems folk here suspect they want to be closer to Dean/Dr. Jeff and Bridget Sibley, maybe to their grandkids, two other young’uns, possible even Aubie and Coach Malzahn, ha!
At this point, Estelle busted through the old, double-front doors of The Store carryin’ what held the look of four 25-pound sacks of wind-light flour - meanin’ they was short on weight by the way she was handlin’ them as she flung them on the counter. Here then she turned and howdied to the settled folk with somber words, seems she also carried a very somber grin or smile. Bro. questioned Estelle as to the need for four 25-pound, wind-light flour sacks.
Now with what carried the look of near tears, Estelle somberly noted she was abandonin’ her hair beautifyin’ factory and cosmetology certificate in search of a full college degree in cloth and material usage, further notin’ flour sacks carried her instructor’s first assignment.
Here, as total quiet fell over the collected group, mouths fell open, jaws dropped and heads shook with pure lack of understandin’. There were even a few utterances from the group of Why?, Really?, Surely not?, etc., and so on.
Followin’ some state of normal bein’ regained by the group, Estelle continued to explain her first college assignment was on lint places, types and quality. She took on explainin’ that navel lint, toe jam, pocket fuzz and dryer stuff were pure, clear in-word as to place and type. However, she so put that quality was highly variable based on place and type, and each flour sack carried samples of navel lint, toe jam, pocket fuzz and dryer stuff.
Just now Willerdean questioned Estelle as to why her college instructor would hand out such an extreme assignment to a first-time freshman college student. Why not English, history or math?
Here Estelle took on a full-mouth grin as she proclaimed to the gathered group, there ain’t no such class, assignment or instructor. April Fools!!! I got you all ….
I put work into them four 25-pound, wind-light flour sacks all weekend. I will be doin’ beautifyin’ over at my hair beautifyin’ factory full well after some of you folk have passed.
Just now with total dumbfoundedness lots of the gathered folk come on disasembelin’ with heads shakin’ and jaws still full dropped.
So keep your guard full up this April first and watch out for more middle-aged, women-type college freshman carryin’ four 25-pound, wind-light flour sacks, pure full of navel lint, toe jam, pocket fuzz and dryer stuff. Still …
REMEMBER YOUR HERITAGE!!!
ALWAYS, THINK GOOD MEMORIES!!!